The Pastor's Prayer, Part 3

The Prayer of the Venerable Aelred, Abbot of Rielvaux. Meant for Prelates and Especially Abbots

Composed and Used by Him

III.

And so I confess to you, my Jesus, my saviour, my hope, my consolation, I confess to you, my God, that I am not as contrite or fearful as I should be for my past wrongs, nor as uneasy about my present ones as they deserve. And you, sweet Lord, have set up someone like me over your household, [1] over the sheep of your pasture. [2] You bid me, who is not careful enough for myself, to be careful for them. You bid me, who by no means prays enough for my own sins, to pray for them. You bid me, who has not taught myself enough, to teach them. Poor pitiful me, what have I done? What have I dared? What have I agreed to?

More like you, sweet Lord— what have you agreed to about pitiful me? I beseech you, sweet Lord, is this not your family, your own peculiar people, [3] whom you have led out of a second Egypt, [4] whom you created, whom you redeemed? Finally, you have gathered them together from all over, [5] and you make them live in a community with a single set of principles.

Why, therefore, O fount of mercy, did you want to entrust such as them to someone like me, those so dear to you to such an outcast from your sight? [6] Was it to respond to my affections, to hand me over to my own desires, [7] so that you might judge me more strictly, condemn me on more accounts, to punish me, not only for my own sins, but also for those of others? Unless you intended, O most faithful one, that a single sinner, being even more clearly guilty, should be more harshly punished, was it right that so many and so precious ones should be exposed to such danger? For what is a greater danger to followers than a foolish and sinful bishop?

But (and I would rather believe this

about your great goodness,

and it would be a sweeter experience)

perhaps you have set up

someone like me over your family,

so that your mercy might be more obvious,

and your wisdom be made known, [8]

to demonstrate the heights of your power,

and not of human power. [9]

Perhaps it should please your great goodness

to lead your family well,

by means of someone like me.

If so, then the wise should not boast of their wisdom,

nor the righteous of their righteousness,

nor the mighty of their might. [10]

For when they lead your people well,

is it not you leading, rather than them?

If so, if so, then

not to us, Lord, not to us,

but to your name give the glory. [11]

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Notes:

1. Luke 12.42 (NTE): ‘“Who then is the faithful and wise servant,” said Jesus, “whom the master will set over all his household, to give them their allowance of food at the proper time?”’

2. Psalm 79.13 (BCP): ‘So we, that are thy people and the sheep of thy pasture, shall give thee thanks for ever, / and will be showing forth thy praise from generation to generation.’

3. 1 Peter 2.9 (KJV): ‘But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;’

4. Exodus 20.2: ‘I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;’ [For Aelred, the first Egypt refers to the Christian’s separation from the world through baptism; the second Egypt refers to the monk’s separation from the rest of the Christian world. (Dutton, 13.)]

5. Psalm 107.2–3 (BCP): ‘Let them give thanks whom the LORD hath redeemed, / and delivered from adversity; And gathered them out of the lands, from the east and from the west, / from the north and from the south.’ Also Jeremiah 23.8: ‘“As the Lord lives who brought out and led the offspring of the house of Israel out of the land of the north and out of all the lands where he had driven them.”’

6. Psalm 31.25 (BCP): ‘But as for me, I said in my haste, / “I am cast out of the sight of thine eyes.”’

7. Romans 1.24: ‘Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts…’ [I am hesistant to invoke this passage, often used as a ‘clobber passage’ in attacking same-sex relationships, in connection with Aelred. John Boswell speculates that Aelred was himself gay, even though he and his monks lived under and upheld the Cistercian vow of chastity (Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, p. 221–226). His personal life aside, Aelred doubtless knew the passage from Romans and most likely alludes to it here, but there is no reason to assume from the text that he is referring to his sexuality here.]

8. Psalm 106.9 (BCP): ‘Nevertheless, he helped them for his Name’s sake, / that he might make his power to be known.’

9. 2 Corinthians 4.7: ‘But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us.’

10. Jeremiah 9.23–24: ‘Thus says the Lord: Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; 24 but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the Lord.’

11. Psalm 115.1 (BCP): ‘Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy Name give the praise, / for thy loving mercy and for thy truth’s sake.’